dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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