My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Also, beer. Big fan.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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