the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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