I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
