a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
