Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
