I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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