So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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