College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
