dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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