What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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