thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
