he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just cropdusted the office
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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