and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
