I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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