Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
