dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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