is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
