you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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