Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
