ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
