how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
