I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
