I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
worst night to have a conscience
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I need water and some morals
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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