Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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