Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
