I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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