TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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