OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
