Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
