Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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