Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
