fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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