We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
