So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
