if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
