ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
