I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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