trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
