It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
