I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
