I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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