You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
