is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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