I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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