Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
