that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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