Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
