So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
