Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
