I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
