sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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