I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize