it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
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needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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