dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
