You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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