Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
