Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
