Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Screwed.edu
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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