I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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