Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
