He told me they were just razor bumps!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
