i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
