One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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