Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
